February 16, 2020
Welcome to spiritual, emotional, and artistic Pisces season, everyone. Dogs and humans alike are in for a dreamy, mystical time. Don’t be scared if your dog starts astral projecting, reading tarot cards, or contacting their wolf ancestors! It’s just what tends to happen to your pup during Pisces season, that’s all. But that’s not everything. Your dog is probably feeling way more cuddly, loving, and sensitive too. You might as well embrace all the cuteness headed your way because Pisces season has got your dog feeling some type of way.
I know what you might be thinking. Doggie horoscopes? How silly! But think of it this way: If the planets have an influence on your life, why shouldn’t it also affect those of the canine variety? If you’re late to the game, check out the dog horoscope from last week, because you certainly don’t want to miss it. But if you’re right on time, here’s your dog’s horoscope for the week of February 17 to 23.
Look at you, Aries! Your human can’t even take you on a short walk down the street without everyone stopping to ask if they can pet you. Are they asking you “who’s a good doggie?” over and over again in that obnoxious, overly excited voice? That means you’ve definitely done something really adorable, so good job. Every dog has its day, and because Venus — planet of love and affection — is in your zodiac sign, you’ve been having a lot of those lately. People have been treating you like the royalty you are, so get your fill of it because you know you love the attention! Just make sure to stay grounded because it’s your unassuming sweetness that makes you such a good doggie in the first place. Heavy is the dog that wears the crown!
Check out the Aries dog horoscope from last week.
You’re a dog who prefers knowing what to expect, Taurus. You like waking up right when your human’s alarm goes off and eating a bowl of your favorite kibble as they drink their coffee. You follow it up by watching them leave for work, waiting by the front door all day while casually chewing on your foot, then greeting them with rabid excitement once they return. Easy-peasy, doggie-squeezy! But don’t you think this routine is getting a little tired? It might be time to shake things up a bit. You don’t have to put your life on paws and follow every move your human makes. You have agency, Taurus pup! Why not exert a little freedom? Why not eat chow instead of kibble? Why not chew on your butt instead of your foot? Danger is officially your middle name, Taurus.
Check out the Taurus dog horoscope from last week.
Who doesn’t love a good story? Of course you do, Gemini. When there’s juicy news floating through the grapevine, you’re the last one to let sleeping dogs lie. But who can blame you? It’s fascinating that the labradoodle next door still isn’t housebroken. It’s wild that the chihuahua across the street has an intense fear of stuffed animals. Oh, and did you see the absolutely ri-dog-ulous sweater the corgi was wearing the other day? You’re a Gemini and it’s not your fault you’re so obsessed with rumors. While it’s all in good fun, you might want to pump the breaks before everyone figures you out. You don’t want to be labeled as the biggest gossip in doggie town!
Check out the Gemini dog horoscope from last week.
Who just gained thousands of new followers on their Instagram account? You did, Cancer! The account has officially gone from being your human’s dumping ground for every silly photo they’ve ever taken of you to becoming a true feed stopper. That video of your human making you do the macarena has gone viral, taking your account to the next level. I know you hated filming that stupid video, but now do you see why it was worth it? Expect DMs from doggie food brands and doggie publicists this week because people officially want to sponsor you. Don’t worry, you’ll get paid! Not in doggie treats though. Only in US dollars. And I’m sorry, but you can’t eat those.
Check out the Cancer dog horoscope from last week.
I know you’ve always dreamed of acting on the big screen, Leo. After all, you are a Leo, and what Leo doesn’t love having an audience? You better grab on to those dreams of yours and never let go (just like you never let go of the ball when your human is trying to throw it for you again, but I digress). However, acting is more than just rolling around and pretending to be cute. It’s about being vulnerable to your doggie emotions and performing something as raw as filet mignon fresh from the butcher (you know, the one you’re not supposed to be eating). You’re not just some one-liner, Leo. You’re worthy of an Oscar. In fact, you could end up being the first dog to win an Oscar in history if you’re willing to dig deep! And if not, at the very least, you can act the hell out of playing dead.
Check out the Leo dog horoscope from last week.
Your love language is “acts of service,” Virgo, and you can’t help but do favors for everybody. You’re always willing to share some of your kibble with another dog (much to your dismay), grab the remote for your human (even though it’s only two feet away from them), and let the kids dress you up in doll clothes (those spoiled brats). However, are you sure you’re not being taken advantage of, Virgo? You don’t need to be a “good doggie” all the time. I know you’re a paw-fectionist, but enough is enough. You’re a rough, wild, and free canine spirit. Enough with the people pleasing!
Check out the Virgo dog horoscope from last week.
Do you think you might be a little obsessed with being in love, Libra? I mean, you literally just broke up with the German shepherd last week because you needed time to “find yourself.” Yet, here you are, sending the Staffordshire bull terrier flirtatious texts all through the wee hours of the night. Come on, Libra. You don’t need to be in puppy love in order to have a good time! Why not cool it on the romance, call up your canine clique, and surround yourself with paw-tonic love instead? There’s a reason you broke up with that German shepherd. I know being a lone wolf can get… lonely, but being with a dog who doesn’t “get” you is even lonelier.
Check out the Libra dog horoscope from last week.
What are you still holding a grudge for, Scorpio? Whatever happened between you and your human happened a long time ago and, TBH, it’s kind of silly that you’re still mad. Did they accidentally step on your tail when they weren’t looking? Did they make themselves breakfast before feeding you that ONE time? Did they cut your walk short by 10 minutes? Come on, Scorpio. Lighten up. What are you, a cat? As long as your human apologized and gave you a very yummy treat to make up for it, there’s no reason to still be growling about the situation. Your human loves you and you love your human. Just lick and make up, already. You know you want to.
Check out the Scorpio dog horoscope from last week.
You can be a bit of a commitment-phobe, Sagittarius. It’s not your fault you were born under the most adventurous and free-spirited zodiac sign of all! Because you prefer flying by the seat of your harness, being asked to make a commitment can send you running straight for your dog house. However, you should be honest about that with all the dogs you’ve been dating! There’s nothing wrong with some casual, no-leash attached fun, but you should be upfront about it (and make sure they’ve been fixed). You don’t want to accidentally break an innocent dog’s heart. Plus, their human will definitely have a word with yours if you do!
Check out the Sagittarius dog horoscope from last week.
You’ve got a lot of energy lately, Capricorn. In fact, your human thinks you’re being a total derp. I mean, you’re so focused on chasing the ball that you’re not even eating your kibble! Your human can’t even take you on a walk without you having a total freak out at the sight of another dog. You’re also barking like your life depends on it whenever the UPS man shows up with a few packages. Take a chill pill, Capricorn. Cover it in peanut butter so it’s easier to swallow! You don’t need to exhaust yourself trying to keep up with every single one of your doggie appearances. Why don’t you harness your energy for something paw-ductive? If you actually calm down long enough to focus, you’ll be surprised by what you can accomplish.
Check out the Capricorn dog horoscope from last week.
Lately, something has been cramping your style, Aquarius. Let me guess. Is it the Elizabethan collar your human has been making you wear? I know, I know. It makes you look like a total bonehead, but your human’s only doing it for your own good. I mean, if only you would stop chewing on your butt all day long, you wouldn’t have to wear it! Instead, you’re bumping into walls because it’s obscuring your peripheral vision. I know it’s ruff, but don’t even think about trying to kick the collar off! Do you know how hard it was for your human to get you to sit still long enough for them to put on you in the first place? Plus, you know they’re just going to have to put it on you all over again. It’s only a cone of shame if you let it be!
Check out the Aquarius dog horoscope from last week.
You’re always rooting for the underdog, Pisces. It’s what makes you so full of canine compassion! However, this week, that underdog might wind up being you. I know you’re not the most competitive dog in the world, but no dog is exempt from having an ego. If you’re coming in last in the doggie race, not getting as much attention as the cat, or forgetting to catch the ball when your human throws it at you, try not to be so hard on yourself. The idea that you’ll never be good enough sounds a little far-fetched to me! Why not just bark it off? While life certainly isn’t a walk in the park, it’s not a dog show either. Who cares if you’re not paw-fect?
Check out the Pisces dog horoscope from last week.