May 04, 2020
Is your dog acting a little bit, shall we say, “funny” lately? Are they running around in circles as soon as the sun sets? Are they staring up at the night sky and howling with all their might? If so, you’re definitely not alone, because the full moon in Scorpio rises this week, and dogs all over the world are getting in touch with their primitive side. After all, Scorpio is ruled by Mars — planet of passion and war — encouraging your dog to act way less domestic and far more primal. Chances are, quarantine is making your dog feel just as cooped up as you are!
When you’ve been stuck in the house for this long, time ceases to exist. Who can even remember what day it is anymore? Thats why you might as well check out last week’s dog horoscope in addition to this week’s, because what is time anyway? However, if these questions are a little too freaky for your liking, then let’s just focus on the task at hand, which is your dog’s horoscope for the week of May 4 to May 10. Buckle your harness because it’s about to get wild in here!
No dog acts more like a wolf than you do, Aries. After all, you’re ruled by Mars — planet of combat — and you’re always up for a rigorous game of tug of war or a barking match with the dog walking across the street. It’s simply in your nature to act a bit feisty! However, this week, you’re taking feisty to a whole new level. You might have way too much energy to expel and being stuck in the doghouse all day will only make you feel like growling. This week, you should find ways to calm yourself down when you feel like wildin’ out. It might be a good idea to kick the ball around in the backyard for a while to tire yourself out. Your human can only take so much!
You are so loyal, Taurus. In fact, you’re the most loyal dog in the zodiac, making you the living embodiment of “man’s best friend.” However, you might be taking your job of being your human’s sidekick a little too seriously this week. Your human is spending a bit more time with the cat than usual, which could be ruff. In fact, you might even be feeling a little jealous! I know you think you’re in a one-on-one relationship with your human, but your human has to take care of the cat sometimes too! It doesn’t mean they love you any less, sweet Taurus pup. I promise you no one could ever replace you, not even the fluffy and cuddly cat who does that cool purring thing that dogs can’t do.
You’ve got a million things on your mind at once, Gemini. It’s what defines your zodiac sign! You’re simply so intelligent that you can think about what brand of dog food you’ll have for dinner at the same time as you’re thinking about which tree you’d like to pee on next. Multi-tasking is kind of your thing! However, this week, you might be feeling totally disorganized because of it. Instead of flying by the seat of your collar, why not put paw to paper and create a to-do list? You can cross off each item one at a time, helping you get your focus as straight as your tail. Before you know it, you’ll be finished with everything you were planning to do that day, giving you plenty of free time to lick your butt!
Oh, you sweet, dreamy Cancer. This week, you might just be falling into some pretty serious puppy love! Nevermind that you watched “Lady and the Tramp” with your human the other day and you’re in the mood to be the star of your own love story, but you’ve been eyeing the dog who lives across the street and it seems like they’ve been eyeing you right back. You probably can’t wait for quarantine to be over so you can finally make your move! However, you might be feeling some doubt about whether your crush is staring at you through the window or staring at the ball sitting in your front yard. Since there’s no real way to tell, you might want to make sure you’re not falling in love with the idea of this dog rather than the dog itself!
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You attract attention wherever you go, Leo. It’s just what being a Leo is all about! You can’t help it that everyone wants to pet you, can you? In fact, your Instagram page is blowing up this week. Good luck keeping track of every like, comment, and repost of your adorable face. However, as much as you love being adored, even you can eventually feel exhausted keeping up with all these appearances. Why not take a well-deserved break from social media this week? You could certainly use a cat nap! Plus, you’ve got plenty of content on your page to keep your loyal fans satisfied. This week, you should put your paw down. Everyone can wait until you’re ready to come back better than ever!
You’re such a well-behaved dog, Virgo. Your intelligence is off the charts and there’s a reason you were the first dog from your litter to be housebroken! You simply love making your human happy, so you always listen to what you’re told. This explains why every time your human told you to stop barking, you were obedient! While your human really appreciates your quiet nature, you’re forgetting to speak up when you need something, Virgo. If you’re hungry, bark about it! If you want a walk, why not growl a little? Believe me, your human won’t be disappointed. They would much rather you used that voice of yours when you have something important to say!
Being in quarantine really makes you appreciate the little things, doesn’t it, Libra? For example, food has literally never tasted so good! Since you’re forgoing your usual visits to the dog park where you get to see all your neighborhood canine friends, you’re probably thinking about your next meal a little more often than usual. However, your renewed interest in food might be making you a little food aggressive! Whenever the cat gets near their bowl, you groan. Whenever your human eats dinner and doesn’t give you a taste, you complain! Don’t let your hunger ruin your reputation for being so polite and graceful, Libra. Dinner is important, but so is your dignity!
I know cats get all the credit for being associated with witchcraft and what not, but you’re changing the narrative, Scorpio. After all, there’s a full moon in your name taking place this week, and you’re the most magical dog in all the zodiac! You might even find yourself wanting to dabble in spell-casting and potion-making. Just make sure you’re practicing good witchcraft instead of evil witchcraft! For example, don’t curse the cat for sleeping in your favorite bed. Why not use your powers to help you make it big enough for the both of you? Why not meet a new wolf pack or use your potion-making skills to create doggie kibble that makes you fly? The choice is yours, Scorpio!
You’ve been feeling a little anxious lately, haven’t you, Sagittarius? With all this time in quarantine, it’s no wonder! You’re probably tired of being stuck in the house and probably even more tired of your human being home every single day, leaving you no time to yourself. What’s a stressed puppy to do? Well, you can try a few calming techniques! Why not spend this week sticking to a yoga routine or writing in your journal every day? You’ll be surprised by how doing a downward face dog in the morning can lift your spirits! Plus, writing down all your worries on a pad of paper will help lessen their effect on you. You’re a dog, Sagittarius! You’re not supposed to be this stressed out. That’s your human’s job!
This full moon has got you longing for your friends more than ever, Capricorn. You’re a dog who misses their pack! There’s nothing more tragic than that. While this quarantine is not yet over, there are still many ways you can keep the friendship going. Have you ever heard of “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Dog Sweater”? That’s right! Why not pick a sweater to wear before (sanitizing it and) mailing it around to all the members of your pack? Seeing photos of each of you wearing the sweater will remind you of better days when you used to play together at the park! Plus, this idea is way more inventive than just a typical Zoom date, right? Just make sure you wash the sweater before mailing it!
Just because you’re in quarantine doesn’t mean you can’t make your doggie dreams come true, Aquarius. In fact, you might be feeling way more ambitious than you ever did before stay-at-home orders were a thing! Look inside your heart of hearts and ask yourself what you’ve always wanted to do. Have you always dreamed of painting your own version of the “Mona Lisa” (ahem the “Puppa Lisa”)? Have you always wanted to write a novel about the first dog who ever became domesticated? Have you considered learning German so you can speak to the German Shepherd or Spanish so you can speak to the chihuahua? You can accomplish anything you set your paws to!
This week, you’re in the mood for an adventure, Pisces. Unfortunately, thanks to quarantine, you’re going to have to set aside your dreams of climbing Machu Picchu until later. However, there are still so many ways you can satisfy your craving for a little spontaneity. Why not watch “Homeward Bound” with your human? Why not prove that you don’t need opposable thumbs to play video games by cranking out the old Playstation and leveling up? Staring out the window all day long will only make you feel even more trapped, Pisces. Enough with the cabin fever! There are so many ways to make your long stay at home a little more paw-some!