March 16, 2020
It’s time for very intense games of tug o’ war, fierce dog show competitions, and passionate sessions of fetch, because the sun enters Aries this week and your dog is feeling primal. When the sun is in this competitive, high-energy, and uncontainable zodiac sign, your dog is encouraged to bark louder, play harder, and wag their tail without inhibition. It’s an exciting time to be a dog, so don’t rain on their dog parade. Support them as Aries season makes your dog feel more alive than ever!
If you’re a dog owner, you know they’re not just pets. They’re part of the family. And that’s why we at Pawp believe dogs deserve horoscopes too! After all, they live in the same solar system that we do and they’re being affected by the cosmos just the same. If you know your dog’s zodiac sign (or you know them well enough to guess what they’re zodiac sign might be), then you should check out what the week of March 16 to March 22 has in store for your furry best friend. And if you’re new to the whole “dog horoscope” thing, you might as well check out the dog horoscope from last week too. But if you’re all up to date, don’t stall any longer, because it’s Aries season and Aries is impatient:
Happy birthday, Aries! You’re such a good doggie, yes, you are! I know you wear your birthday suit pretty much every day of your life, but it’s time to don your best paw-ty hat and throw a shindig that celebrates what it means to be you. Go all out, Aries! Invite the German shepherd, the golden retriever, the pug, the Basset hound, and even the tea-cup sized chihuahua. Play a few rounds of pin the tail on the kitty (it’s a game, not an excuse to torture the cat) and purchase some squeaky balls to give out as party favors. Just try not to eat all the cake at once! You’ve got to make sure all your guests get a slice, remember?
Check out the Aries dog horoscope from last week.
Wake up and smell the jerky, Taurus. I know you’re a Taurus, which essentially means you’re the sleepiest dog in all the zodiac, but this week, you’re giving Sleeping Beauty a run for her money. You’re sleeping through the whole day and only waking up to eat your bowl of kibble and quickly go outside to pee on your favorite tree. Then, you’re right back to sleeping! While I’m sure you’re having fantastic dreams about being spoiled by Paris Hilton and living in her luxury dog mansion, you’ve got a life to live and you’re sleeping through it all! I bet if you get past the yawning phase (and FYI, you’re adorable when you yawn), you’ll realize that being awake definitely has it perks.
Check out the Taurus dog horoscope from last week.
Make a wish, Gemini! Seriously, if you wag your tail hard enough and kick your hind legs together, you might find that your wishes come true this week. However, be careful what you wish for! If you wish you had a million dog treats, you might wind up with an upset stomach. If you wish your human never had to go to work, there won’t be any money to buy you dog treats! Wish for something that reflects the intelligent dog you truly are. Wish that no dog ever has to go hungry ever again. Wish for the cat to finally become the fun playmate you’ve always wanted. Believe it not, genies answer dog’s wishes too!
Check out the Gemini dog horoscope from last week.
Do you want some attention, Cancer? Well, you’re a dog, so of course you want attention! But here’s the thing, Cancer: There’s “good doggie” attention, and then there’s “bad doggie” attention. You could get your human’s attention by unraveling the toilet paper roll in the bathroom, peeing on the carpet, or getting fur all over their favorite dress. However, that would be “bad doggie” attention and you’ll definitely feel guilty about it later. Now “good doggie” attention? You get that by taking all your puppy vitamins, being nice to the cat, and doing that super cute thing where you roll over on command. That’s the kind of attention all dogs really want!
Check out the Cancer dog horoscope from last week.
Uh oh, Leo. Let me guess: Your human forgot to lock the gate and you decided it would be a fun idea to sneak out and take yourself for a walk. I know it’s exhilarating to go for a walk unleashed and without human supervision, but you’re worrying everyone sick! Enjoy your quick stroll around the block, but make sure you get back home before your human calls a search party. There are better ways to satiate your desire for a bit of adventure than this! Why not go on a mini road trip with your human? Why not ask them if they could take you for a walk on the beach? The key to success here is going on an adventure with your human, not without!
Check out the Leo dog horoscope from last week.
It’s time to take all that potty training seriously, Virgo. You can’t use the excuse that you’re still a puppy much longer because you’re growing up! Your human has tried crate training, puppy pad training, and every technique in the book to get you to stop peeing all over the house. You’re not a naive, fluffy, and innocent little baby any longer, Virgo. You’re becoming a mature, stalwart, and respectable canine. FYI, growing up doesn’t mean you’re any less adorable than you were before, so don’t worry about that. You’re just becoming the kind of cute your human can count on, so hold that bladder until you get outside, Virgo.
Check out the Virgo dog horoscope from last week.
I know you love being in puppy love, Libra. After all, you are ruled by Venus — planet of love — and you’re always daydreaming about being the Lady sharing a bowl of spaghetti with your handsome Tramp. But when you’re entering one relationship after another, dating can start to lose its meaning. Take a break from all those dog dating apps and wait until a lassie really steals your heart. You’re never going to find your dog mate if you’re wasting time dating just for the sake of dating. Your lover is out there, sniffing for your scent, waiting for you for find them. Patience is a virtue, Libra, even for a begging dog!
Check out the Libra dog horoscope from last week.
You might be acting a bit obsessive this week, Scorpio. Seriously, you’re demanding your human serve you exactly five pieces of kibble, arranged in a perfect circle right on top of a neat slab of turkey pâté. You need your human to throw you the tennis ball exactly three times before you’ll relax enough for them to go to work. And if they’re even one minute late at the end of the day, you’re dialing 9-1-1 with those big ol’ paws of yours and barking at the operator. Lighten up, Scorpio. The world isn’t going to fall apart if everything doesn’t go perfectly to plan. You’re a dog remember? Enjoy being the scruffy mess you’re meant to be.
Check out the Scorpio dog horoscope from last week.
Is it your lifelong dream to become a singer, Sagittarius? That’s a beautiful dream and you need to fight for it. I know there are lots of naysayers who say dogs can’t be singers, but you need to ignore them and prove them wrong. Sure, you can’t speak English and it’s hard for you to form words with that snout of yours, but you do have vocal cords, Sagittarius. Take a deep breath, use that diaphragm, and belt your heart out. Bark, ruff, woof, and sing all for favorite songs, doggie style. You’re creating a new genre of music, Sagittarius, and your music is about to climb all the way to the top of the charts!
Check out the Sagittarius dog horoscope from last week.
It’s unfortunate, because you’re a dog and all, your human has probably never asked you for your interior design advice. But at the end of the day, you guys share a home together and you should feel at home too! Why not design your dog house to your own liking? If you hate the color, why not paint it something different? Why not pick out some drapes that reflect your style and decide whether you prefer mid-century modern or French country. Watch HG-TV and get some ideas because your dog house will be the envy of all dog real-estate! Make yourself at home, Capricorn, because you deserve your own space.
Check out the Capricorn dog horoscope from last week.
You’ve been way too much of a lone wolf lately, Aquarius. Seriously, it’s time to get out of the dog house and expand your pack! And no, hanging out with your friends on the dog-net is not the same as seeing your fellow pups IRL. Call up your oldest mates and spend some time playing fetch with each other at the local dog park. Introduce yourself to some new dogs and get some new numbers in your dog-u-lar phone. By the time the week is over, you’ll feel so pup-ular! I know the dog-net can give you the illusion of having a social life, but never underestimate the power of barking at your fellow dogs in person.
Check out the Aquarius dog horoscope from last week.
You’re a dreamy dog who’s always looking to escape reality through a bit of fantasy. After all, you are a Pisces. Therefore, you’re probably all too familiar with handing over your canine card the minute something expensive catches your eye. Practice self-control, Pisces! I know asking a dog to do that is unrealistic, but imagine what you could buy if you save your money. You could eventually buy the five star gourmet dog food instead of the cheap rubbery kibble. You could buy a cashmere sweater instead of that scratchy one that’s two sizes too small. Sooner or later, you can afford things that will be the envy of every dog in the neighborhood.
Check out the Pisces dog horoscope from last week.