Roya Backlund•August 03, 2020•11 min read
You better make sure your dog’s leash is secure because this is one tail-chasing week! It all starts with a howl-inducing full moon in Aquarius that’ll really help your pup tap into their inner wolf. Then, Mercury — planet of woofs and barks — enters flashy and fabulous Leo, turning your dog into quite the diva. And, when Venus — planet of snuggles and attention — enters cozy Cancer, all your dog will want to do is gaze into your eyes and hear you tell them how much you love them! So, what are you waiting for? Tell them what a good dog they are already!
This is a lot to take in all at once, so you may feel like checking out last week’s dog horoscope and reflecting on everything that’s come and gone. But whenever you’re ready, dive straight into your dog’s horoscope for the week of August 3 to August 9, because it’s coming at you fast!
You’ve been spending a whole lot of time at home lately, Aries dog. Nothing wrong with that because you’ve been a responsible dog and social distancing! Even though you love getting to spend so much extra time with your human and your weekly Zoom calls are helping you get by, you miss meeting new furry friends! You miss having distant acquaintances that you catch up with at parties and having meaningless small talk about the weather. Who’d have thought you’d miss these things? Well, fear not, Aries dog, because you’ll be making so many new friends this week… online! There’s no harm in reaching out to your followers and mutuals on social media and striking up a dog-versation!
Being a Taurus dog comes with so much responsibility. After all, you ARE ruled by Venus — planet of romance and attraction — and that makes you one of the most adorable dogs in the zodiac! The only problem? Well, you’re not the only dog who’s ruled by Venus… Libra is too. And unfortunately, you’re feeling competitive! You may even be comparing yourself to Libra and making a mental list of all the reasons they’re sweeter and all the reasons you’re cuter. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Taurus dog. There’s no way you could possibly measure who the cuter dog is! Set aside this little competition of yours, because it’s only stressing you out!
Because it’s summer and temperatures are so high, your human has been cutting your walks short to keep you safe from heat exhaustion. They’re also making you wear these silly little doggie boots whenever you go outside, Gemini dog! While these boots may be cramping your style, your human just wants to protect your feet from getting burned on the scorching hot asphalt. Trust that your human knows best! You keep kicking off the boots, throwing tantrums whenever they put them on you, and making the whole process way more difficult than it needs to be. Do you want to hurt your feet? No, you don’t, Gemini dog! So suck it up and put on the boots!
Admit it, Cancer dog. You’re a little bit upset with your human about the fact that they fed the cat before they fed you. It may be a simply gesture and a silly thing to growl about. But from your perspective, the choice to feed the cat FIRST speaks VOLUMES. In fact, you’re planning to hold a grudge until they notice and see the error of their ways! You’re turning your back on them, putting your tail between your legs, and sleeping on the floor instead of the bed. But, here’s the thing, Cancer dog: your human is just feeling confused by your strange behavior! They have no clue what you’re so upset about. Being passive aggressive sure isn’t helping!
You’ve met an adorable dog on a doggie dating app that’s really snagged your attention, Leo dog. You’ve been barking about them nonstop! By now, your human knows all about how they’re a pure-bred Weimaraner who enjoys long walks on the beach! In fact, you’ve mentioned it about five times (and your human just thinks they sound pretentious). Considering what a romantic zodiac sign you are, having a crush is SO enjoyable for you. Just don’t get ahead of yourself! Remember: you haven’t even met them IRL yet! Before you start changing your relationship status on Facebook, you might want to make sure you guys are actually compatible in person rather than in text. It’s the mature thing to do, Leo dog!
You may be dealing with an upset stomach this week, Virgo dog. Why? Well, because you keep rummaging through the dumpster whenever your human leaves the house! You’re eating all sorts of things you know you shouldn’t be eating, like leftover fried chicken, stale cookies, rotten bananas, and more. Are you a dog or a garbage disposal, Virgo? Have some standards with what you eat! What’s causing you to rummage through the trash? Is the food your human is feeding you too dull? If that’s the case, you better let them know, Virgo dog! Ask them to help you spice it up! They’d definitely prefer doing that over cleaning up your mess!
You’ve been dating the Dachsund for a while now, Libra dog. By now, you’ve fallen into a steady rhythm. You text each other “goodnight” and “good morning” (which is a lot of work, considering that neither of you have opposable thumbs). You get together to Netflix n’ chew. You share a bowl of kibble. Then, you fall asleep on your favorite blanket! You love the stability, but you’re starting to feel bored. You wish they would come up with a romantic gesture to remind you that they’ve still got the hots for you! Well, don’t wait around, Libra dog. Create the romance yourself! Send yourself roses! Write yourself some paw-etry! You don’t need a lover in order to BE in love, Libra dog. Your first love will always be yourself!
Lately, you’ve been feeling like home doesn’t really FEEL like home, Scorpio dog. You’ve noticed that everyone in the family is eating dinner in separate rooms! What’s that about? Isn’t meal-time supposed to mean family time? At least that’s what you’ve always seen in the movies! This disconnect has got you feeling frustrated and you’re in the mood to call a family meeting, Scorpio dog. You want everyone to sit at the dining table during dinner so you can all eat together! You want everyone to take turns asking each other about their days and you want to see love in action. Oh, and one more thing: NO PHONES! You’re going to rip their phones to shreds if you so much as see one text being answered. You’re serious about this “quality time”!
You’ve been feeling so bored this summer thanks to all the social distancing, Sagittarius dog! You’ve been keeping yourself busy by starting all sorts of new projects. These projects range from learning how to roll over and play dead all the way to reading the encyclopedia of dogs from cover to cover. Your brain is oozing knowledge, Sagittarius dog! The only problem? You’ve been starting so many projects… but you haven’t finished any of them. Get it together and get focused, Sag! It’s so much more meaningful to have finished one thing than to have started a million things all at once. Dogs may not have the longest attention span, but you’re definitely going to be the exception!
Thanks to doggie training school being out, you’ve got a lot of free time on your hands, Capricorn dog! So much free time, in fact, that you’ve been going a little overboard with the spending. Your canine card is THIS CLOSE to being maxed out! You’ve been perusing luxury dog websites, buying everything you like, and totally forgetting all about your monthly budget. What’s going on, Capricorn dog? You’re normally the most responsible dog in all the zodiac! Well, that mentality is what got you here in the first place, because there’s always room for improvement (even for a Capricorn)! You may want to cancel a few orders and return a few items… especially that doggie-safe chocolate fondue fountain. You know that purchase was ri-dog-ulous!
You’re feeling so powerful this week, Aquarius dog. In fact, you don’t even feel like a dog! You’re convinced you’ve been communicating with your canine wolf ancestors and feeling their spiritual energy all around you. You’ve been howling at the moon, bearing your teeth, and breaking free from all inhibition! But be careful, Aquarius dog. All this talk of being a “wolf” is getting to your head and you’re starting to become a little insufferable to all your furry friends. From their perspective, you think you’re better than them because, all of a sudden, you’ve transformed into a “wolf”! Well, you’re not a wolf. You’re a dog! And don’t worry, Aquarius. Dogs are way better.
Your dreams are exceptionally vivid this week, Pisces dog. You’re even having trouble telling the difference between what’s real and what’s a dream! Unfortunately, your human shot a video of you while you were dreaming and it’s… well… embarrassing. In the dream, you were running through an open field at 100 mph, feeling the wind beneath your paws! In the video? You’re making all sorts of funny noises and wiggling your feet like a doofus! Your human posted the video on social media and it’s already got millions of likes and shares. You wish they’d take the video down, but you know they’d never sacrifice all the internet clout!